Happy times

Plenty of people I know get very nostalgic about their childhood days.  They like to think of it as the happiest periods of their lives. No cares, no worries, no responsibilities, no prejudices, an ability to just build your own imaginary worlds, a sense of playful wonder, yada yada. Yet what they seem to forget is that children are selfish, irresponsible, neurotic little things with  underdeveloped superegos that like being cruel to other kids, that are always insecure and frightened of the big bad world they do not understand, that parasitically drain their parents' time and energy while resenting the parental control of their lives.  It sucks being a kid. Anybody with as good a memory and as well-developed an ability to see things for what they really are, as me, can see that. 

Personally, if I were asked, what the happiest time in my life so far has been, I would definitely vote for my teenage years, specifically the two years of high school I spent mostly studying for college entrance examinations. There was very little to do except just study - which meant working on math and physics problems, and trying to crack college entrance exams. It was intense, focussed, and most people of my age I knew around me were doing the same thing. So I never felt like I was missing out on much. My parents provided for my material needs. I didnt have to worry about cooking my own food or cleaning my own room. The prevalent social norms in my culture which puts a premium on grades and performance in fiercely competitive exams encouraged me to do this, and there was no being confused by very open questions. It was all very closed and insular and well-programmed and certain. Also I was good at this and liked studying and succeeded at it. This earned me social and familial approval. It felt good to be admired for my seriousness by older people. Also my view of the world was very idealistic, I was confident I could mould it the way I wanted to, I believed in the possibility of change, I was in touch with my inner voices, I didn't much care for other people.

The second best period of my life has been grad school. Ironical as it may sound to an American, I have worked more intensely on my high school education than I am doing with my PhD right now. But the real world of research has made me quickly give up my idealistic notions and adopt a more worldly wise worldview, and appreciate the complexity of life and the limitations of the human individual. To add to that, the social adjustments and realizations one has to make while living in a foreign culture have taught me many insightful things about human character and behavior. My grad school life probably merits a separate post of its own. But it certainly is making me wiser and more experienced. I am not afraid of growing up any more. :D