Arjuna and Krishna walk into a pickup bar.

A:  I cannot do this, O Son of Vasudev, look at the Kauravas arrayed at the bar. Duryodhana is there twirling his moustache with his muscles all bulging out from under his tight shirt sitting as if he would not concede a single inch (at the bar) .   Dushasana, that pervert, is already buying a drink for that petite chick who isn't wearing much that she could be disrobed of.   Even that old self-proclaimed celibate Bhishma  is chatting up two young girls.  And the bartender looks like Shakuni. What chance do I have?

K: Do not be so dismayed, Partha. I know your breakup with Draupadi was hard.  But a good solid rebound shag is just the thing you need.  

A: Oh, Draupadi, that polyamorous wench. Let's not speak of her tonight, shall we?  

(mutters:  if she can have five, why can't I?)

K: Tarry, O Kaunteya, anger does not resolve anything,

A:  Oh, I wish I had brother Bhim with me tonight.  He solves everything with great anger.  He would have started a brawl by now.  

K:  Good, a dry sense of humor like that is all you need to make an impression, Arjuna.

A:  You should reserve these silly compliments for your village cow-girls.  They do not help me.  

K:  Well I will help you if you will let me. Just think of how you won Draupadi with your consummate skills.  You still have those moves.  

A: I was just a nerdy teenager back then.  And that old half-mad Drupad just decided to marry her daughter off to somebody who could win a competition.  That's all I needed to do then. That's all I was back then. A trophy child going around winning archery competitions to please Kunti.  How does that help me impress women in a bar, Krishna?  Do the broads here care for archery?

K:  You should play to your strengths- there's nothing more that pleases a woman than confidence and accomplishment in a man. But yes, just archery sounds a little dorky.  You need to add more to your game these days.  How about mentioning your conch blowing skills?

A: Sounds like a bad innuendo gone wrong.

K: I guess so.  You know what a "conch" is in Spanish? (sniggers)

A: Let's go back out, Krishna.  This is not my night. I can feel it.

K: This won't do, Partha.  How about we shoot some pool and have a shot or two, first?

A:  Good idea, let's do that and then get going. 

(After two chaser shots, Arjuna begins to put away the pool balls with elegant ease.)